The Walters

Last night the gnome and I went to pick up Reid at the airport. There were not too many people there, probably due to it being a weekday, and Reid was coming in on an evening flight. So we are waiting at our gate with all of the most normal, nice-looking clean cut Midwesterners around when Crazy Lady showed up. Yep, Crazy Lady. Crazy Lady had an iPod that she was fidgeting with and she kept changing seats. Her attire, of course, was a little bizarre and her hair was erratic to say the least. When she found a spot she was comfortable with, right in front of us, she began to go through her songlist and humming a little bit.

Well, now what do we all know? Yes, babies love music, singing and funny voices, and of course, this freakshow had all three…in spades. So Henry’s head whips around and he is smiling and laughing at this display because it must be for him, right? Luckily, this lady was so into herself and her songs, and is closing her eyes and wailing “I’m So Lonely” that she paid us no mind…so I picked my child and all of his gear and took us away from her antics as fast as my chubby legs would take us.

BUT, I told you that story to tell you this one.

Reid sat behind “flirt-o-rama couple” the entire way home. Anytime you take a flight that started in New Orleans and connects into Dallas to get you home, you are guaranteed at least a little bit of fun. I guess these two people had nothing better to do (she had a book in her lap) then to say the following things to each other:

1. Your eyes are robin’s egg blue.

2. I am only staying at my girlfriend’s house, but I will be in town for awhile. (male)

3. My ex-husband is just my ride.

4. How old are you? No way!!!

5. You have really nice feet.

…and on and on until Reid felt like maybe he should pull out his nun persona, hand them a balloon and say, “Make room for the Holy Spirit.”

The minute they got off the plane, he pretended like he didn’t know her…airline floozy that she is.

 1. Sitting in a restaurant at the MCI/KCI (whatever your name is) airport. Group of 4-5 enters restaurant and sits behind our small family unit. My back is to this crowd the entire time. They order double Jack ‘n’ Cokes…it is just after 11 AM. The main speaker in this group (every group has one) is male and has the EXACT SAME VOICE as Dale from King of the Hill. I kid you not. He also happens to have the exact same lack of volume control, and any potential control he had has a correlating relationship with his Jack ‘n’ Coke.

In my mind he is talking about pest control and government conspiracies, but in real life he is talking about whiskey and golf. Very loudly. I keep wondering how much strained, WASPy, lock-jawed type of enthusiastic golf clapping it would take to drown this man out. I keep wondering if he looks like the ‘real’ Dale.

2. After eating  one of those airport ”my compliments to the chef” meals, the gnome gets a diaper change and we sit down for some family togetherness time. Reid goes to the bathroom. The peppermint gnome fusses a bit. I get out my Hooter Hider and I am in the process of putting it over my head when I hear an exasperated sigh. I look up and I see an older woman, like maybe 65, slam her bookmark into her paperback (yes, from this incident, I have gleaned the knowledge that one can slam a bookmark), glare at me and my hungry child, grab the handle of suitcase and wheel herself over to a new seat.

I will be the first to admit that the gnome has lungs and he will use them. He, however, was not using them and had only fussed for about a minute and a half. Reid came back and I told him the little story, partly because I thought it was humorous and partly because I was offended, at the end of this telling Reid looked at me expectantly…and I looked back at him questioningly…and he said, “So then you mouthed FUCK OFF?”

3. Then Dale walked by and he looked nothing like the ‘real’ Dale. I was so disappointed.

♥Happy 30th Birthday Aunt Dana!♥

The Walter’s salute to Earth Day!

That’s right folks, we are a cloth diaper family.

Not wanting to beat anyone over the head with our justifications for this decision, I will let you read about them here.

I couldn’t post this without a shout out to the fabulous Dianna at Express Diapers.

 Last weekend we had some visitors, our Mama Hen and Maggie May. Maggie and Bessie are pretty good friends and treat each other like litter mates. There are certain major differences in their personalities, of course, but for a pound puppy (Bessie) and a purebred (Maggie) they have a pretty time together. Bessie basically tells Maggie what to do and she does it.

On previous visits Bessie has taught Maggie a few destructive tricks. Like tearing the egg crate stuffing out of Bessie’s bed. Great fun.

In the past two weeks Bessie has destroyed her bed, with some small help from Maggie. So when Maggie came to visit, she brought her own bed.

Actually, Maggie brought TWO beds…because a small purebred pug weighing about 16 pounds needs 2 beds.

So Maggie didn’t say boo when Bessie took over one of her beds.

Yep, just made herself comfortable.

(notice Maggie’s other bed in the background of this picture)

noh-muhn-kley-cher, noh-men-kluh-cher, -choor

Take index finger and scratch at corner of wife’s lip.

Murmur, “Hmmmmmmmmmm.”

Stare at said corner pointedly. For an extended period of time.

Finally ask, “What’s that?”

Said wife will reply: “Um, one of those socially unfortunate objects, called a blemish.”

this is

a two bib

production